Chargers/Ravens Game Diary

OK, just thought I'd try this for fun.  It ended up quite long, so feel free to skim around.

Never done a game diary before, so I really don't know what I'm doing.  I sat down with a notebook and a pen and wrote down what I saw as it happened, and then typed them in after the game.

7:12 pm  Settle in on the couch, I'm ready for the kickoff.

For those that don't know, I'm kind of a die-hard Chargers fan.  So I'll probably be plenty partial as I write this, but so far it's been a good day for the Chargers.  The Denver Tebows lost at home, the Raiders lost at home, and for San Diego to make the playoffs they have to win all 3 of their remaining games.  It's just like Norv planned it!

Anyways, it's been a crazy day in the NFL.  The Packers lost to KC?, the Colts won?, the Giants lost to the Redskins?, the Eagles CRUSH the Jets?, Reggie Bush rushes for 200+ yards?  I mean, Chargers beat the Ravens could fit right in, right?

7:14 pm NBC cuts to Ray Lewis screaming "Play like dictators!" which led to my wife saying, "Who is that?  He sounds like a maniac."  I wonder if Ray ever thinks about his buddy sitting in prison for murder.

Chargers still have some (slight) playoff hopes.  Here is what we needed coming into today.
1.  Broncos have to lose 3 straight.  They lost the first one today.
2. The Raider have to lose 2 of 3, and they lost today, and play San Diego in week 17.
3.  The Chargers have to win all 3 games.  The first, and toughest task, will be Baltimore tonight.

7:19 pm Tony Dungy picks the Ravens to win.  Rodney Harrison picks.... the Chargers?  Something strange is afoot.  He NEVER picks the Chargers.  Particularly if they are playing a "physical, smashmouth" style of team like the Ravens are known for.

7:23 Faith Hill has been waiting all day for Sunday Night.
Chris Collinsworth - the Chargers could make some noise in the playoffs, but they will need help and also need to get by the Ravens tonight.

Sports Doofus - if the Chargers lose tonight Norv Turner is as good as fired.  And, it won't be easy as the as the Ravens are in a battle for the #1 seed in the AFC.

7:30 Michelle Tafoya interviews Norv Turner on the field
Norv Turner - We've been playin good.  Playing a tough team tonight.  Rivers needs to play "within himself".

Thanks for the insight Norv.

Michelle - possible injury to starting Ravens CB Webb.
Thanks Michelle

7:31 pm Nick Novak kicks off to start the game.  Touchback.

First Play - Ray Rice off the left side for 21 yards.  Ouch

On a 2nd and 12, Flacco badly misses a wide open Boldin over the middle.  The Chargers and their fans need Flacco to suck tonight.

On 3rd and 12, Flacco hits Boldin for a big gain of 34 yards.  At SD 34 yard line already.  (Sigh)

Chargers Hold.  and Raven's K Billy Cundiff misses a 36 yard FG attempt.  Charger Ball.

7:40 pm Chargers first play - Phillip Rivers completes a short pass to Ryan Mathews and he turns it into a 13 yard gain.

Michaels notes that the Chargers have had 11 different starters on their Offensive line this season.  (NOT a good thing against this Ravens defense)

on 3rd and 7 Rivers hits Randy McMichael for a 1st down.

7:42 pm  A little "Trickeration" by Norv!
-A Reverse pass option given to Vincent Jackson... pulled it down and got a 9 yard gain on the run.

Mathews on a nice gain up the middle, but fumbles.  Jared Gaither starting Left Tackle for the Chargers (as of 2 weeks ago) recovers.  Whew!  Mathews needs to get over that fumbling problem.  He's really fun to watch.

7:47 pm Rivers calls a timeout with 2nd and Goal at the 2 yard line.  Nice drive so far, Norv has been mixing up the play calling on this drive.

7:49 pm Bring Mike Tolbert in to carry the ball and he's stuffed.  3rd and Goal from the 2.
-Draw play to Tolbert scores a touchdown.

-First time in 21 games that the Ravens D has given up a score on the opening drive.  Norv is a genius in December!  The "Accessory to Murder" (AtoM, for short) was blocked well by Tyronne Green on the TD run.

7:53 pm On the kick return, #37 from Baltimore played well beyond the whistle and basically tackled a Charger on kickoff coverage.  This leads to a scuffle, pushing, shoving, taunting... from both teams.

NBC come back from commercial and there are no penalties on the previous play?  And NBC doesn't discuss it, either.  Evidently, Baltimore can play beyond the whistle, jump on the pile, and pull off helmets, and this is well within the rules of the game.  Kind of like watching Duke play basketball, if it's Duke it's not a foul, because "that's how they play".

Ravens bring out the "Don't Blow This For Us, Joe" Offense.  This features lots of hand offs to Ray Rice, and short passes to Tight Ends.

8:02 pm End of 1st quarter  San Diego 7 Baltimore 0
-if San Diego can stop the run... I like their chances, Flacco has been off on a couple of throws.

8:05 pm Rice starts the second quarter like the first, with a nice run for a 1st down.  Inside the San Diego 20 yard line, now.  Short Run, then incomplete pass.  3rd and 8 on the 15 yard line.  Flacco threads the needle on a beautiful pass to Tight End Ed Dickson for a TD.  Great Throw, Flacco.  Score is tied:  7-7.

That was a nice drive by the Ravens and what they want to do.  Survived a few errant passes and pounded the ball well.  Although, the drive survived because Flacco was able to scramble for a 12 yard gain on a 3rd and 10.  I swear your local junior high quarterback could scramble for a first down against this version of the Chargers defense.  It happens every game.

8:12 pm  Rivers takes over at the 20 yard line, following the touchback.
-lets see how the Ravens defense reacts to that first drive by the Bolts.

8:14 pm Rivers gets sacked on what I call a "Norv Drive".  (The Norv Drive - short run up the middle, followed by a deep pass out of Shotgun formation.  Repeat. )
Run Mathews - Pass for a first down.
Run Mathews - Sack - BUT, a penalty on Terrell Suggs for slapping McMichael on the side of the head saves the day for the Chargers.  1st down off the penalty.

Norv Drive - continues.
-Run Mathews - Deep Pass to Gates, first down
-Run, pitch to Mathews... big loss.  2nd and long... Deep pass to Vincent Jackson...incomplete.  That was there, Rivers overthrew him.

8:21 pm 45 Yard Field Goal by Nick Novak is good.  10-7 Chargers lead.  7:44 to go in the Half.
(-Feeling good.  got points off a "Norv Drive".  Let's see if the Ravens go back to the "DBTFUJ" Offense, or if they let him wing it since that TD pass was on a rope.

8:26 pm  Joe Flacco is sacked...but penalty flag on the play, false start on the Ravens, back up and do it again.
3rd and 10 - 11 Yard gain.  (If you wrote this stuff, meaning the Chargers play, as fiction, no one would  believe it.... too improbable)

8:30 pm Flacco overthrows a wide open Ray Rice on 3rd and 3.  He would have gained 20 yards.  Flacco is really, really, erratic.  That TD he threw was a laser fired between two defenders, and yet, he's had a couple of BAD misfires.  I mean, just bad.
-Punt is a touchback, so SD will take over on the 20 yard line.

8:33 pm There is 3:11 to go in the half as Rivers approaches the line. (Please don't turn it over.)
-Mathews up the middle for 2
-Pass to Floyd dropped, so it's 3rd and 8.  2:21 to go in the half.

Ravens bring a ton of pressure and Rivers makes them pay.  58 yards down the left sideline to Vincent Jackson.  NBC cuts to a look of Flacco on the Baltimore sideline that is just precious.  (That's how you play QB in this league, Joe)  2 minute warning.

8:37 pm 1st and 10 at the Baltimore 20 yard line.

8:38 pm Rivers hits Malcolm Floyd and it's first and goal at the 1 yard line.  Tolbert up the middle, stuffed by AtoM.

8:40 pm Pitch to Ryan Mathews around the right side.  Touchdown.  :19 until halftime.  17-7 Chargers lead.

8:42 pm Flacco takes the field in the Shotgun from the 20 yard line following the kickoff.  Hits Rice for a nice gain out of the backfield.  Timeout Ravens with 4 seconds left until half time.  (Please no PI to set up a field goal attempt)
8:44 pm Flacco sacked by former Raven Antawn Barnes to end the half.

Norv for President!
-Seriously, the Chargers look great.  The Ravens seem caught off guard, like they expected an easy game.  Norv may or may not be back coaching this team next year.... but they never quit on him.  All that being said, it's only halftime and this Chargers team has found about a thousand different ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory over the past two seasons.

9:00 pm Ravens kickoff - Touchback
Nervous Charger fans are waiting for the sky to fall.
-Michelle Tafoya reports that the Ravens coaches are saying the officials need to call holding on the Chargers offensive line.  However, Norv Turner told her that the Chargers are simply blocking better.

Thanks Michelle, glad you cleared that up.

3rd and 8 and the Ravens Blitz, Rivers beats them deep to Malcom Floyd for 16 yards.

Ravens Blitz again... Rivers beats it again, complete pass to Vincent Brown for 15 yards and the Bolts are across midfield.

9:05 pm Nice Run by Ryan Mathews around the left side for 18 yards.

9:06 pm Philip Rivers hits Malcolm Floyd deep for a TD.  The extra point is good.
-AtoM looks absolutely pissed on the sideline.  NBC breaks out the "San Diego Super Charger" song from the early 80's as they go to commercial.  24-7 Chargers.  (Really?)

9:08 pm Ravens come out throwing, in the Shotgun.  Possibly a good sign for the Chargers?
-Tommie Harris sacks Joe Flacco... Harris has been a great addition as a mid-season pickup.  He's played well.  2nd and 18.

(As a Chargers fan, I like seeing Flacco back in the 'gun.  Less Ray Rice to worry about)
-Sack by Antawn Barnes.  Wow.
-a late flag comes out, facemask on Barnes during the sack.

9:15 Quinten Jammer drops a sure pick on a tipped ball.
-Next Play - Linebacker Takeo Spikes intercepts Flacco and rumbles to the Baltimore 25.  Replay shows that Flacco threw it right to him.  Although, to be honest, he was wide open on the play.
-Chargers are penalized 15 yards for excessive celebration after the return.  Of course.

6:23 to go in the 3rd quarter.  Rivers takes over at the Baltimore 42 yard line.
-Chargers go to "Norv Drive" mode.  run, pass.  run, pass.  Then...Pass complete to Floyd!  First and goal at the 4 yard line of the Ravens.

9:21 pm Ryan Mathews leaps over the pile (from the 4 yard line?) for a touchdown.  Novak kicks the extra point.  31-7 Chargers lead.  4:05 left in the 3rd quarter.  Norv for President!

9:27 pm Ravens take over
-NBC runs a graphic stating that the Chargers are the first team in history to score on their first five possessions against the Ravens franchise.

9:30 pm Shaun Phillips intercepts Joe Flacco on a tipped pass.  Wow.
-2 incomplete passes and a draw by Tolbert leads to a field goal attempt by Novak.
-Novak hits the right upright from 37 yards out, which leads to a scintillating conversation between Michaels and Collinsworth on how John Madden would have called that a "doink".

9:35 pm Ravens come out in a Shotgun offense, and are running no huddle.  (This does not displease me.)

9:36 pm  End of 3rd quarter.  31-7 Chargers lead the Ravens.

9:38 pm  Start of the 4th quarter.
-Flacco sacked by Barnes.  Again.  I'm not sure I'd consider my team to be a Super Bowl contender with him as my Quarterback.  Nice punt by the Ravens will pin the Chargers on their own 1 yard line.

9:41 pm Rivers gets the Ravens to jump off-sides on first down.  First and 5 at the 6 yard line.
AtoM tackles Jacob Hester by the facemask.  This leads to a penalty flag being thrown, and then picked up?  What the heck was that?  Barnes had half that amount on Flacco earlier.  Officials are probably worried about Ray and his buddies knowing where he lives, or something.

9:45 pm  Tolbert runs a draw play up the middle for 22 yards.
-Ummm... Baltimore?  Norv runs that play all the time.  But thanks, anyway.
-Chargers have now moved to the 44 yard line, all on the ground (and had an obvious facemask penalty picked up off the ground for no reason).

9:47 pm  On a 3rd and 5, Rivers hits Mike Tolbert on a screen pass and he picks up a first down by spinning away from AtoM.  However, in Ray's defense he wasn't able to reach Tolbert's facemask.

9:49 pm Ryan Mathews breaks a big run to the left.
-Chargers are at the 10 yard line of Baltimore.  This drive has taken over 9 minutes, started at the San Diego 1 yard line, and had exactly 1 pass play (a screen pass to Tolbert).  FG by Novak is good.  34-7 with 4:28 left to play in the game.

9:56 pm Flacco takes over and immediately floats one down the left sideline near no one on the field.
-NBC cuts to the Ravens sideline and shows their defensive players, they are pissed.
-Chargers are playing backup Linebackers now, as Bront Bird and Andrew Gachkar are playing for Donald Butler and Spikes.

10:01 pm Flacco is sacked for the 5th time.  Shaun Phillips was in there, and is down.  Hope he's OK.

10:02 pm Flacco throws a 36 yard TD pass to WR Torrey Smith.  1:55 to play.  34-14 Chargers lead.
-Backup safeties Oliver and Stuckey were in the game on that play, ignored by the announcers.

10:06 pm  Onside kick attempt by Baltimore.  Recovered by the Charger's Patrick Crayton.  Flag on the play.  Illegal touching by Baltimore, so it's Chargers ball at the Raven's 44 yard line.

Hester with a carry up the middle and Baltimore calls time out.  1:48 to play and down 20 points, and the Ravens are hitting after the whistle and calling timeouts.  Classy.  Both Suggs and AtoM get in late hits after every whistle.  Rivers lets the clock run down to 57 seconds and calls timeout.  Norv calls for a run on 4th and 2 instead of punting, and Mathews is just short, so the Ravens take over on downs.

10:13 pm  Ravens send out Tyrod Taylor at Quarterback?  Why were you just calling timeouts, Harbaugh?  Taylor sacked by Corey Leiget.
-3rd and 13 with 9 seconds left.  Complete to Anquan Boldin.  Tackled.  Game over.  34-14 Chargers win.

Thoughts:  I guess the Chargers players do want to keep Norv around.  That game was a clinic.  Baltimore, if I were a Ravens fan I'd officially be worried.  You just got pounded by a team that people consider to be "soft".
The Chargers, if they don't make the playoffs (and let's be honest, the odds are against them) they will have no one to blame but themselves.  They gave away 2 divisional games against Kansas City and Denver that they should have won.  You win those and you are a game up in the division.

No excuses are acceptable.  But they showed tonight what they are capable of, and that they can beat "physical, running" football teams.  Great job by the entire team tonight, and yes, great job by the coaching staff.  Norv, you did good.

Top 5 NFL Team Uniforms

For the 5 Worst Uniforms, click the link.

Once again,

This is looking at the whole uniform: pants, jersey, and helmet in concert. How does everything look together?

Here’s what I used for criteria: my opinion. While I know that is lacking on specifics and details, it is the truth, and it's good enough for me... hey, it's my blog.

5.  Arizona Cardinals

The Cardinals uniforms are sweet.  Especially when you compare them to what they used to wear.  Here's how you know you have had a good idea.  Imitation by several teams, like the Vikings and Falcons quickly changed to uniforms that if not exactly copy...mimic what the Cardinals did with theirs.

A few things to mention.  I do NOT like the Cardinals alternate black uniforms.  They don't look right.  The reason these uniforms look sharp is because of the bright Red.  You take that away and replace it with Black, and it just looks blah.

A quick suggestion for the Cardinals... for your "alternate" uniforms.  Red Helmets.  You may think a Red Cardinal on a Red Helmet would looks weird, but it really doesn't.   So, get rid of the Black Jerseys... and strap on Red Helmets.

4.  Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Probably the greatest uniform transformation of all time.  There is not one thing, not one single thing, about the old Tampa uniforms that was better than the new version.
The color scheme:  From the old Orange, Red, and White to Red, Pewter, and Black.

The logo:  From the Gay Pirate to Skull and Crossed Swords hanging on a flag, hung on a sword.

The helmet:  From This  to  This.

Do you remember the Buccaneers before the change in 1995?  They went from a joke, a farce, and someone that no one feared into a legitimate contender.  Almost immediately.  Never has the fate of a franchise changed more drastically.  The Buccaneers changed the image and the perception of their team in one fell swoop.  (Hiring Tony Dungy didn't hurt, either.)  This is why uniforms are important.  Players play feel better about themselves when they look good.  They feel better, they play better.

3.  New York Giants

Simple.  Clean.  Elegant.

To be honest, I never thought there was anything wrong with the Giants Uniform in the Bill Parcells era.  Those were pretty good looking.  They weren't Top 5 in the league, but they looked good.

Here is where just a slight, subtle adjustment, can make a huge difference.  The helmet has changed both in color and logo.  The "new" helmets are brighter and more colorful than the old ones.  Technically, they are both blue with a red stripe, but the change is definitely for the better.

The logo went from GIANTS to NY.  Again, the difference is slight, but I like it.  Two Color scheme on the logo from one.  And something about the lowercase lettering looks cooler too.  I just like what they did here.  More colorful.  More modern.  And still, simple and easy.

And I love the Gray pants.  How many teams do that?  One.  The Giants.  It sets them apart.  It makes them different.  These would have been my second favorite except for a major uniform overhaul in the past off season by the....

2.  Buffalo Bills

I'm going to be honest here, I've been waiting for this change.  The past few years whenever I saw the Bills on television I would text my brother and say something along these lines, "I really wish the Bills would go back to their throwback uniforms, they look better than these things."

The Bills uniforms were awful.  The Red helmets look like something from the 80's.  They weren't terrible, but mixed in with all the color in the uniform...  There's no contrast.  They're all Blue and Red, it hurt the eyes.  Another thing I didn't like about them is the weird shoulder square thing.  It's more notable on the white uniforms, but it's even there on the blue ones?  What the heck?  And if you have a Blue shoulder thing on the white uniforms, shouldn't you have a White shoulder thing on the Blue ones?  

Buffalo General Manger Buddy Nix, used to be the Assistant GM to the San Diego Chargers.  He took a page out of his old team's book.  He changed the uniforms so that it looked like the throwback uniforms, but had their own charm.  They pay homage to the bills of old, without exactly copying it and looking like they belong in a museum like like the Jets did.  Straight out of the Chargers playbook.  Going back to the white helmets?  Check.  Going back to an old color scheme?  check.  Well done, Bills, well done.  

1.  San Diego Chargers -The Hands Down best looking uniforms in the league.

"Home"

I'm fully prepared for the cries of "Homer!" and "That's your favorite team, of course you like them the best!"    Listen, it's not my fault that my favorite team also has the best looking uniforms in the league.  It's just the way it is.  If I were a Packers fan, I would not be claiming we had the best looking uniforms in the league.  Because they don't.  If I were a Bears fan, I would not think the Bears had the best uniforms either, because even though they are fine, traditional, and classic... they aren't cool.  The Chargers uniforms are cool.

"Away"

This is why I have included photos of each of the three styles, Home, Away, and Alternate.  Look closely at each of these photos.  And then think back to the five worst uniforms, as recorded yesterday.  Do the Chargers uniforms do anything like those teams?  

Are they:

Trying too hard to be audacious, like the Broncos uniforms?

Relics of the past like the Jets uniforms?

Racially and culturally inappropriate, as well as poorly colored, like the Redskins?

Plain, bland, boring and ugly like the Browns uniforms?

Wimpy, new age colored, and adorned with a silly looking mascot?

"Alternate"

Let me answer each of those questions with one answer, "NO".  Here is how nice looking the Charger uniforms are, first of all imagine a little kid... 6, 7, 8 years old... and put him in a room full of NFL jerseys and let him pick the one he likes the most  (we have to imagine he knows nothing about football, and has no favorite team or anything.... just picking on which jersey he likes the best).  More than likely he's coming out of there with the one that has Lightning Bolts on it.  What would you pick.... one with a bird on it?

I was watching a pre-season game of the Chargers this summer, and my wife looked up from the computer and says, "When you picked them as your favorite team, did you do it because their uniforms look so cool"?  Honestly, it played a role.  I was 10 years old.  This was basically pre-espn, and I'd never heard of them.  (Remember the NFL didn't dominate the culture of the nation in those days, as it does now.)  I saw this cool looking team, throwing the ball all over the field, putting up tons of points.  (Dan Fouts and the Air Coryell era Chargers)

Listen, as a Chargers fan, they've never won the Super Bowl.  They may never win the Super Bowl (Particularly the way the current version of the team is playing).  Can't you just admit that their uniforms look good?  It's not like saying they're the best team.  Just the best dressed.  Is there anything wrong with that?  Not in my opinion.  Of course, Chiefs, Broncos, and Raiders fans are excused from giving the Chargers any credit whatsoever, and that's alright because it's obvious by your choice of team that you have made worse decisions in the past.  (tee-hee)

I was texting back and forth with a friend (Steelers fan) this summer, and we were busting on each others teams a little, and he said something like "The Steelers would beat the Chargers" and I replied back with, "I don't doubt it, but the Chargers still have the best looking uniforms."  To which he replied, "True.  Even I won't argue that point."

So there you go.  My completely unscientific, and completely biased opinion on who looks the best.

5 Worst NFL Uniforms

5 Worst NFL Team Uniforms

This is looking at the whole uniform:  pants, jersey, and helmet in concert.  How does everything look together?

Here’s what I used for criteria:  my opinion.  While I know that is lacking on specifics and details, it is the truth, and it's good enough for me... hey, it's my blog.

Here we go, starting with:

5.  Denver Broncos

Despite what many who know me may think, this has nothing to do with them being a division rival of my favorite team (the Chargers).  The Raiders and Chiefs aren’t on this list.  So that’s not it.  It’s not the color scheme because the Virginia Cavaliers make the dark blue and orange thing work. 

First of all, I hate the design.  The little point thing on the helmet stripe?  It starts out wide on the back of the helmet and then shrinks down to a little point at the front.  That looks stupid.  Also, on the jerseys and pants… their stripes come to a point… at the top of the jersey (point on the chest) and then down the side, and finishes with another point on the bottom of the pants.

Then, we come to the ‘bronco’ on the helmet.  It’s too… tooo... it’s just too much.  First of all it’s enormous!  And secondly, it’s too “fierce” looking.  This horse is trying too hard.  Maybe the actual logo wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so large.  But when you put the “fierce horse face” in combination with the size of the thing, it just looks like it’s overcompensating for something.

4.  New York Jets

When Bill Parcells took over the Jets in the late 90’s, he changed the uniforms and logos from the ones they had been using, to the look the team sported during the Joe Namath era.  Most likely hoping it would “recapture the glory years” of the franchise (they did win a Super Bowl).

Too be honest, at first I was on board with this change.  At that time the “throwback” uniforms were popular, and the Jets uniforms at that time did leave something to be desired.  Now though, they look like something from the 1960’s, which is exactly what they are.   It’s not that they are ugly like the Broncos, they just look like something out of a museum. 

The Jets need an update.  I’m not sure how, and I’m not sure what, but they need a change.  You live in New York!  The media capital of the world!  You have one of the most vocal fan bases in the league!  You can do better!  Get some PR people working on this issue.  You have how many advertising and marketing firms based in New York?  There is no reason for you to keep trotting out a team that looks like they are playing in the same clothes that their Grandpa did.  Get with the 2000’s Jets. 

3.  Washington Redskins

I’m not sure where to begin with the Redskins.

1.       The racially inappropriate mascot. (Redskins?  really?)

2.       The completely inappropriate helmet logo.  (a caricature of Native American?)

3.       The horrendous color scheme. (Red and Yellow, no wait Burgundy and Gold)

First of all, it is beyond my understanding how any team could exist in 2011 and have a mascot be named the Redskins.  How is this possible?  It’s the most ridiculous thing I can imagine a team being called.  What if San Antonio got a team and started calling it the “Wetbacks”?  How about the San Jose Slant Eyes?  Would that be good?  What if Miami’s team was called the “Refugees” instead of the Dolphins, and had a picture of a floating Cuban refugee on the side of the helmet? 

You can talk all you want about tradition and history, and blah, blah, blah.  It makes no difference.  It’s wrong.  It needs to go.  When you also factor in that this team also represents our nation’s capital, it makes it worse.

So, Washington fans you need a new mascot, which also means a new logo, why not go for wholesale changes while you are at it?  I don’t think the next team should be that burgundy and gold color scheme.  You can't have a "new identity" with the same colors.  It could be close, but different.  


How about maroon and gold like the University of Minnesota?  That would be close, but a change, and a change is needed.  Think of it this way, when you’re going out, and you want to look good… who puts on Burgundy and Gold together?  How about Red and Yellow, for that matter?  It’s not a good color scheme to begin with, so you may as well change that.

Personally, I’d be in favor of naming the team the Washington Senators like the old baseball team.  But that is all beyond the point, which is that this uniform, logo, and mascot NEED TO GO.   Do the right thing, Dan Snyder.  Just do it.

2.  Cleveland Browns

The ugliest uniforms in professional football, hands down.  Possibly the ugliest uniforms in all of professional sports.  The Browns aren’t going to win any beauty contests.  From the plain white jerseys with the orange pants, or the brown jerseys with the white pants, these things look terrible.

First off, this was a fine look back in the way back… you know, before teams adorned their helmets with logos and graphics.  But teams have been doing that for a while.  The Browns stubbornly refuse to change.  OK, so you like a simple helmet.  You do notice that your helmet is colored Orange?  The team is named the Browns, but you wear Orange helmets?

I know the team is named the Browns after the legendary coach Paul Brown.  I get that.  I even think it’s cool.  But couldn’t you incorporate something about that?  You’re just plain.  These are the most boring and plain looking things you can imagine.  And you know what, it would not be hard to change to something better.  A quick internet search of Cleveland Browns Uniforms, found me these "fan made uniforms'.  Those look pretty sweet, right?  Much better than what they actually wear.

In fact, the only thing that prevents them from being the #1 worst uniform in the League is this… they are so ugly that Browns fans are proud of this.  They relish the fact that they are “the Browns” and that they are plain, and their fans are “the dogpound”.  This fact prevents them from being the worst, however they are still ugly. 

But there is one worse...

1.  Miami Dolphins

Where oh where, do we begin with the Dolphins?  Should we start with the mascot?  Who is intimidated by a Dolphin?  How about the color scheme?  Aqua and Coral sound more like stripper names than a football team’s colors.  And let’s call them what they are:  Teal and Orange.  Let’s move on to the logo on the Helmet.  A cartoon dolphin, wearing a football helmet (with an orange M on it) jumping in front of a silhouette of the sun.  Wow.

Does anyone find it ironic, that the Dolphin on the helmet is actually wearing a cooler looking helmet, than the helmet it is appearing on?  Seriously, look closely at that helmet… a plain and simple orange M looks better than what they have on there.

Miami, it’s time to wake up.  You are happening, you have South Beach, you have beautiful ladies, beautiful weather and tremendous football history.  You can do better than this.  Allow me to make a few suggestions:

Did you know that one of the Dolphins official colors is Navy?  It’s absolutely true.  What are you doing dressing in teal and orange (OK fine, have it your way, Aqua and Coral)?  You need to incorporate some Navy into those uniforms.  How about the pants?  They could be Navy with a two color coral and aqua stripe up the side (similar to what you have now).  I understand wanting to wear white down there in the heat…but instead of teal, um, aqua numbers on the jerseys go with Navy and outline the trim in coral and aqua.

You should keep the Dolphins are your mascot.  But change the logo.  Almost anything is better than what you have.  Change the helmet while you’re at it.  It doesn’t need to be an M, it could be anything, shoot a scripted “Dolphins” looks better than what you have now.

So there you have it, change you helmets, change your logo, and God’s sake incorporate some Navy into your uniforms.  It’s one of your colors, use it.


My next post will be on the Top 5, and you know that you want to know.